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[08 Jul 2009|03:42am] |
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god luck and good speed |
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[02 Jul 2009|01:26am] |
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[23 Jun 2009|05:30pm] |
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music |
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license 2 chill |
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shaved my beard, ended up like fat baby elvis monster face.... employable?? figured if I kept the thick richness, I wasn't really trying hard enough. Rode my bike to chill with Laurel at the bakery, felt this weird sensation gliding across my face, it was the passing breeze, hadn't felt that cool air on my jaw & chin zone in like two years.
trying to not be depressed.
just cooked a shit ton of red lentil dal while talking to my dad on the phone about hustling shirts at flea markets. smooth flavorful red lentil goo, gonna put in on a burger tonight. I rule.
pop punk jam of summer 2009 = MEAN JEANS
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[22 Jun 2009|12:32am] |
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music |
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exploding hearts LP |
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just saw the fucking Zero Boys, catchy 80's midwest hardcore band, totally ruled it. Last Carbonas show also fucking ruled. as did Double Negative, overall excellent afternoon & evening.
Having a hard time finding a job, guess I need to sharpen up, trying harder. I bought a yellow Dick Tracy hat with a feather in it from an old pimp suit store thats going out of business. Freeman's Men.
fuck it, going to have a picnic on the beach tomorrow.
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[14 Jun 2009|04:23pm] |
i need a job.
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[11 Jun 2009|03:50am] |
I'm ill and tired, I'm beat
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[01 Jun 2009|06:04pm] |
did a rental application for Pine St. chill house, close to river, vinyl conflict, places I peed near the bone zone.
swam in the river today, started Craigslist job hunt, will take whatever, internship, volunteer jam
been rocking Laurel's pannini press, made one with pork barbecue I stole from work that essentially turned into a white man pupusa complete with tang-slaw crunch. I also scored a fist sized unit of Brie on my last shift.
got my bike fixed finally, new back wheel, tube, pedals, $120 but should keep on ruling for a while, it felt good on the ride, so much lighter than the bike I've been riding in the interim since I busted up my bike in November.
JK, Mike, and I put together some oil projections yesterday at JK's new Invisible Man-style basement apartment, fun visual experimentation/complementizer to the tunes, hope to really crank it at the next show at Nara, figure those Dark Meat hippiefreakfolkweirdamerica crew would get down with it.
so job hunt, river chill, trying to put together some caves weekend tours, small hustles, post-graduate writing expeditions, gonna ride bike and eat Mexican food.
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| verna bloom |
[29 May 2009|01:25am] |
back in Richmond, settled down with oatmeal praline ice cream come down from post-graduation cosmic vacation. everyone's search for roots. Dominican Republic trip was awesome, not really to be crammed in to one livejournal, hopefully pictures will speak volumes for the skypopping clouds and fried fish that I stripped to the bone on the beach like a cartoon cat, Trevor Martin has become a dark skinned skinnier wise lord, his hospitality is very much appreciated. Laurel and I got to wade in the Carribean a thousand miles away from growing up and clocking in for a moment. I got sunburnt after sitting just before the seafoam listening to Bastard Noise live in Japan, waves of noise looking at waves behind waves, the turqoiuse of the deeper sea and the clarity of the water in the foreground. air travel can be a pain the ass and airport food is a rape.
brooklyn excursion was fun, my legs felt strangely active from biking around neighborhoods I've heard about in 90's rap songs. only sought out to chill, maybe get Socratic on S. West, trying to cop some wisdom about young success on a roof or along roti, fell asleep during "High Plains Drifter", ate a cartoonishly greasy slice of pizza in Prospect Park where Nick Russell's dad kicked knowledge about Linton Kwesi Johnson and Lee Scratch Perry, saw the Screaming Females more feedbacky that before, Joose in a coffee cups.
back in Richmond, Dominican coffee, work every day so far, tired,anxious, comfortable, shit and motherfucker, got a plan, (I wish it was radically hellacious) gotta hustle somehow, I'll have plenty of figuring-out-time after these five days of building five thousand sandwiches is over.
the Deluxe Edition of Black Sabbath Paranoid has instrumental versions of every songs that have been ruling my summer shit so far, not to shit on young Ozzy, but that those instrumental jams as a fuzz humming trio fucking kill it.
I'll upload some Dominican vacation photos at some point.
'NOID.
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| satan's finest |
[12 May 2009|02:18am] |
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back in Richmond after DC and Blacksburg. Saw each parent briefly, one fish dinner, one Greek dinner, one Mexican dinner. Peter Brotzmann heavy free jazz worth my dollars. Mannequin longsongcrampsgrunge worth the hassle of Metro and waiting for Richie to pick me up at what turned out the be not the appropriate northern virginia Metro Station, s'all the same to me. tired. got a long day tomorrow, but 24 hours from now I'll be on my way to the airport to go to the D.R. goat meat, rum & coke, besbol. jumped on a trampoline in blacksburg, chilled on top of some blue ridge mountains looking over Appalachian trails of some kind. Redneck guarding the hiking trail with crossed arms revealed his KKK "Boz in the Hood" shirt. major bummer. I bought a dream catcher for JK's new van. American Flag Eagle for to agree with the pigs. vacation over vocation
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[06 May 2009|12:19am] |
finished my last paper of my last class left, hopefully sealing the deal on my graduation, five years of VCU finally completed. last paper was about Linton Kwesi Johnson, not too shabby. treated myself to a bag of Kettle chips, grilled some tight grillmarks into some salmons steaks, didn't understand anything about bone removal, got no fish bone tweezers, got up at 6 today, caught a 7:30 bus to DC, started reading Vineland, caught swine flu from coughing babies and the HI-C spilled all over the floor. ate some hummus at my mom's, watched toxic avenger, took a nap, daydream trip out daymares about Ravi Shankar concerts in darkness.
gonna chat with parents, score some meals, maybe wisdom, hopefully shoes.
I dunno, maybe I'll work on some night cheese.
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[30 Apr 2009|12:29am] |
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| run along, sentences |
[26 Apr 2009|10:57pm] |
got a week of school left. one of four papers done and turned in. one needs to be cleaned up like a motherfucker. two are in skeleton, outline stage. my power breakfast WEEKEND BLOWOUT wasn't as fruitful has I hoped. "stay on message". hadn't been to a packed sweaty house show in the Fan in a super long time. I talked to Stubbs about how we're the old dudes now. Antlers were sweet, stoked those dudes are going to Europe. JK's buying a minivan apparently, ODYSSEY motherfuckers. Laurel and I made an awesome pizza from scratch, had that real professional crustality, excellent vegetable medley. Girl knows how to knead it. DINOSAUR JR on thursday, Laurel's birthday on saturday. gotta lose my head working all nights this week. gonna do traveling when I'm done with school. Trevor said the wheels are in motion for this apartment I'm trying to get for a week in Juan Dolio. Stoked to hang with FAMILY in DC, will be real appropriate. Planning on going to NYC Memorial Day weekend, which I realize is No Fun Fest, so I'm trying to see Bastard Noise or like party with Joe Preston or some shit. Mostly trying to kick it at Sam's spot, go to this Jamaican dive he's been giving me the hype about. I watched Cadillac Records last night and now I really want to go to Chicago. Jesus Lizard road trip compels me. I thought Beyonce was foxy as hell as junked out Etta James.
feel the pain of living.
so I got shit to look forward, got to fucking destroy these two papers. Ghostbusters and Black Britain. I got this, I got power breakfasts, I probably have swine flu. I definitely have Dinosuar Jr tickets, so that's cool.
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[23 Apr 2009|01:48am] |
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| graduated cylinder |
[17 Apr 2009|03:17pm] |
tired, ate too much terrible cafeteria gyro (breakfast & lunch, what the hell am I thinking)
losing sleep in panic, can't comb anxiety out my hair in the shower, literally pulling off my beard hairs. what the hell am I do about the future? I want to hole up in a room with a door and sleep for a couple weeks straight, lucid dream my way towards some goal. computer literacy exam haunts me, I completed that shit, allow me to graduate. no money, no confidence, no sleep, no diploma. just want to sleep on the floor. going spend all day tomorrow crushing this Linton Kwesi Johnson paper, it will be fine. I red-roasted some Chinese pork butt yesterday for like eight hours, it was awesome. played at Wilbo's house again, in the weight room, I enjoyed it. La Otracina was cool, dude told me not to move to New York without a job and said there were no comfortable DIY showspaces like the Dude Manch up there, just bars and Todd P's monopoly. Sonic escapism fix VS. accountability, salary-ility, saving-ability. I was literally looking at some list of GOVERNMENT JOBS, I can't believe I would throw my soul in the chipper like that, haven't even graduated, looking at lists of G's and numbers and growing industries, I felt gross and stale, like fucking a lukewarm sheet of the kind of plastic they make bathroom stalls out of. barf blood. I walked past Carl's house that burned down in March, today. I hadn't seen it in person, three row houses burnt to cinder, charred, you could still see postcards and letters taped to an upstairs window while the Volvo caterpillar beast machine picked up the rubble. I feel like a loser sometimes, other times I feel alright, I wish I had a glass of ice water and there wasn't a hole in the crotch of these jeans. I thought it was going to be cold today so I wore a brown furry coat, but its totally in the 70's and an awesome and I sat on a bench listening to two band nerds play cornet and trumpet in awkward drones and spanish dances and I looked at a statue of a confederate cannon loader.
I gotta go to class. weeeggee.
the kids of today must defend themselves against the 70's
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[13 Apr 2009|12:27pm] |
another 14 days passed to another monday, look at the direct deposit, less than 10 seconds I can see how its all accounted for, I can pay the 'lectric next two weeks from now. at least I'm getting paid, if I don't find work after school, 'taint gonna be any mo digits on monday mornings.
dropping off tax return envelopes today, taking graduation acceptance portraits, drinking coffee, I can get shit done. I think I'm going to the Dominican Republic, check out T-Spoonbag Money Martin's documentary film and Caribbean chill zone, my moms offered the money to do so, I'm stoked, anejo rum and goat meat. voodoodle.
recent head in the clouds playlist rockers
Can
Sunburned Hand of Man
Mi Ami
Ash Ra Tempel
Noah Howard
The Pop Group
Raccoo-oo-oon
Black Sabbath
Yellowman
ESG
Silver Apples
Gunslingers
Nina Simone
UGK (chopped/screwed)
Masshisteri LP
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[08 Apr 2009|11:47am] |
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[01 Apr 2009|02:23pm] |
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john fahey on this salty ass playlist |
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april begins, traditionally the cruelest month.
gotta write four papers, not really that intimidated when I break it down.
1) 20th century pop culture literature paper = GHOSTBUSTERS!
2) Black Britain senior seminar = LINTON KWESI JOHNSON/70's London/Police on My Back/INGLAN IS A BITCH
3) Literary Non Fiction = SHOOTING CANS OF CHEAP BEER WITH A BB GUN w/ my pops
4) (most boring) Linguistics = Stephen Pinker's linguistic theory.
so gotta start ruling those, April has begun, no slacking. went to wal-mart, bought a ton of nuts, coffee, chorizo, and some brand of LUMBERJACK hot dogs.
I may have missed out on the Buy-A-Graduation-Frock, but I don't really care, I'd rather not walk anyway.
can't even begin to think about what I'll do after school, I've got three general designs of resume: Delusional Communications/Media, General Service Industry/I'll Be Yr Bitch, and the most realistic Kitchen/Here's where I've done dishes and skinned potatoes
spider in the snow
I've still got to finish this bullshit computer literacy exam, but I guess if I'm trying to scam my way into whiteboy temping, I should probably actually know how to use the Excel I'll be pretending to be proficient at.
side hustles, window garden
I also bought a new shower head, it only has two settings SHOWER and PAUSE, but its an upgrade from the dribbling cock showerhead we had before. Also, now there's two lightbulbs instead of just one in the four sockets, talk about an increased standard of living, maybe we'll each be less depressed with blast of SHOWER and double the amount of light while pooping and reading the same magazines and Marshall McLuhan paperback.
played a bunch of shows recently.... Mass Shivers from Chicago was pretty tight, riff-y 3-piece. Played at the Church of Crystal Light, hadn't seen a show there, mad underage drinking, the most hippest clubbin' dancing white kids I'd been privvy to in a while. not for us, but for These Are Powers. that band sort of bummed me out, when i saw them at Boulevard a couple years ago, they were way more NO NEW YORK. sonic death/DNA weirdness, now they're drum machine dubstep cocaine dance party. but I guess that's whats cool. I could get into some of the rhythms and stuff, but it holds no candle to those Mi Ami rhythms and good noise and dubbin'.
its a cool spot though, that Rat Ward/Head Molt couple Gary and Leah are cool as shit, down motherfuckers, heavy bastard noise pedal worshippin' chillulon. happy to have chilled with them, and like be their neighbors. i keep jumping on my guitar and I think it finally caved in, destroyed the good pick up and maybe wedged the whammy bar into permanent fucknosis, oh well. lasted more than a year and only cost like $60. sonic death!
sonic life. played with ultra dolphins and purple rhinestone eagle at rumors, probably blew out JK's sunn. oh well. he seems to have no objection and turns me up to 10 when I'm not looking. he bought a tight 60's electric bongo set. control the dancehall.
april, one show, finishin' school, freaking out, wanna travel, got no cash. thanks for the diploma, straight to the plasma center, sike naw. I'm gonna be on the ball, can't wait.
I don't think I'm in for much of a shock, I'm used not having money, I think working a job or two will be cool, big breakfasts. steal time.
my poetry professor's only advice for the future to me was to "steal time" every chance I get. I guess he means write ridiculous poetry at my desk job. dude commutes from Richmond to Boston, what the fuck does he know.
been listening to the rolling stones a lot laterly. get yer ya-yas out. got live if you want it. i guess it happens to everyone maybe. or not. yr supposed to hate the stones or blindly love 'em. a slow skeptical appreciated in graduated doses over the years, and I can finally appreciate the quality ones.
i want it to be warm out so I can chill in the river.
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[21 Mar 2009|01:27am] |
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masshisteria.... awesome
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| small words of negation make a world of difference |
[19 Mar 2009|12:13am] |
stale, sweaty, boring..... and thats just the cheeseburger I brought home from work.
Returned from California trip with a slight cold, Flu-lite, or Allergy Junior, or something. Spent more money than I should have on records and lonely meals, didn't realize my safety net paycheck on the day I return was only going to be for $40. oops is right, cheddar. Got some awesome records though, and the hunt was the only thing kept me grounded on unfamiliar turf. got me some Earthless, some Dead Meadow, some Sun Ra, some KYUSS/QUEENS OF THE STONE AGE split, some Live Skull, some old mono Rolling Stones, some Green River. I gave Laurel a Tribe 8 record, and a necklace I bought in some tourist trap Mexican "pueblo" that's across the street from the train station. Real Mexicans were eating in the joint I went to, so I figured it was sort of legit. I also gave her a tight shell I found at Bates Beach, which I guess is next to some legendary surfing beach, Rincon. I can picture the word RINCON written in a sort of splashy script on a shitty t-shirt or plastic shorts or a sticker on a fat 80's skateboard or something.
ate a $12 burger and drank Mexican coke with D.Co. Drank some cheap dutch beer at UCB theater. lots of "industry" jokes. Everyone in L.A. seems pretty caught up in the business, busy with their jobs, excited about their jobs.
Time spent with Grandpa Stan was an interesting retreat, a look at the mind of psychedelic warrior, a self employed guru, a fuck up deadbeat, a self-described nutcase, a living artifact of World War II, New York beats, California hippie-tantra-nudist-waterbed salesman. I realized that's he's essentially a con man and that he survived through bullshit with hustles and dodges. Makes for some good stories. Flamethrowers on acid at Big Sur kind of good stories. He followed a tangent on how he despised the San Francisco gay community with the smirking anecdote that went something like:
"I fucked his ass out. (pause, smile, thinking) I think he was surprised I was so assertive in that way".
Its not all anecdotes about fucking and tripping; seeing anyone age, anyone close to death just reminds you about yr own state of being and we all die, so I've been listening to the blues, blues by blind black men. spiritual stuff. using a jackknife as a guitar slide. He also kind of pissed me off with some his "coaching", some of the "mental elbow grease"-stuff made me feel like shit. He told me that there's no value in depression because depression is depriving one's self of pleasure and to him thats the stupidest idea in the world. I think there's a quality in isolation and disconnection. Maybe its because I've never been to an orgy or sat in a natural hot spring on acid with the staff of my psychedelicized free newspaper, but more likely because of Black Flag and shitty culture of hooking up that I feel like depression and loneliness is natural force to worth through and with and in some ones more earnestly carves one's character than fucking hundreds of girls or like sitting on a mountain watch a thunderstorm from above on peyote or some shit. Its different times for sure, different perspective. Regardless rifts in perspective and life experience, the lecture went sour at the right time, so I could lose my appetite write when grandpa's DARK GREEN LIQUID CHICKEN MEAL was served. I chilled out and later ate a bullshit california pizza that was served with a salad on top.
I also concluded that much of some Grandpa Stan's hippie culture, while being very liberal and breaking rules and norms, still seems to come from a pretty sexist perspective, a lot of it seemed to involve women in the free love spectrum as shared possessions for the men and shit. I know it was a break from the fifties decade of silence or whatever, but some of his stories seemed invoke a sort of fratboy by way of budha attitude.
I read Al Burian's Burn Collection in a couple day while I was on my trip. Since its a collection of zines, caffeinated personal travel stories about twentysomething punk dude in the 90's who wants to work as little as possible, I wrote stuff in a similar vein, just through consumption (of the book and of many refills of coffee on the journey) so maybe I'll make my own zine with some stories and rants about foods and bikers and the weird smell and sounds the car I borrowed made as I drove through lemon groves to kill time.
Laurel got into Drexel for librarian grad school, stoked, lady breadwinner.
made jerk-inspired chicken dish, mad vegetables, mad adobo.
saw that mask wearing dance crew, JABAWOCKEEZ or whatever tonight at work. I need a better job.
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